12.13.04

more snapshots:

sitting with alec, him on the hard chair and me on mine. cranberry scarf and black peacoat; brown leather shoes, maybe clark's. wide-eyed and looking older, sounding older, same old alec. he hugged me three times on the way out.

three days of alcohol: first, gin and tonics with katie and steve, watching rushmore. warm and clean in her room, lots of pillows and pink comfort. they snuggled and steve fell asleep after half his drink (made weaker than ours). katherine is a classy girl. a perfect way to spend the night.

second, eli's twenty-first birthday. cheap thai food in town: jen gets soup, kevin gets catholic guilt. the boys start the drunken process. then it's eli's party with an undeniably cute pony keg. much drama ensues and the night ends in a naked party for all except myself, for i'm functionally sober while everyone else is gone. tauwan, v, and ilana running around the tower naked and traumatizing a number of members of our soc class. tauwan hops from foot to foot while naked. everyone has a fabulous time.

third: wine and ten things i hate about you with nicole and whitney. we got cozy and happy; when they're drunk, they cook. whitney made flaky biscuits and we ate them and talked about everything there is to talk about. nicole and i walked back to campus at quarter of three on a monday morning and i will miss her and miss her.

i ate whitney's snail salad and am told i am her new best friend. no one else would eat it. it was, of course, really good.

walking around the printmaking studio with eli, him showing me his stuff. he gave me a print of the ocean. the more i look at it, the more i love it. it was good to see him.

talking to jon and worrying. trying to keep it in perspective. what happens will happen; that aside, he cannot not go to scotland. i'm not able to think about that now.

steve taking pictures of katie and i, then katie taking pictures of steve and i. we all look good in all of them; i like that she went out of her way to plan the picture-taking. we sat around and steve was an old jewish grandmother and everyone laughed. i'll miss them. seniors; i won't be back in time for graduation. i have screennames and am hoping to, against all odds, keep them in my life.

seeing andria's engagement ring. friday she was normal, by monday she was engaged. she's peripheral in my life; a girl i worked on a project with all semester. she is very nice. she now has a giant, glittering rock on her left hand. it made an impression.

hugging eric in his long black coat outside banister after our last soc class. him letting me know i can email him if i get homesick in scotland, telling me that i'm going to be a great station manager. for no particular reason, i suspect i will see eric again someday.

people to see and things to pack. it's becoming clear how difficult it's going to be to leave bowdoin for good.

when, exactly, did that happen?