3.30.05

birthday.

the first bit was inexplicably bad; there was no reason for the mood, since dad's here, but there it was. i moped around the city, he growing more and more attentive and being really good to me (wiping off the bench we sat on to eat fish and chips, hugging me lots, letting me try on pointless shoes and even offering to buy them). we spent hours in the castle, on princes street and going up and down south bridge.

it's wonderful to have him here. best yet, the best there'll realistically be.

after too many hours of me being sad, we went out to sandy bell's for drinks before dinner. we got happy toasty on pints of director's bitter and good islay scotch and stared soulfully into each other's eyes whenever the drunk gay man wandered into our vicinity to hit on dad. it was perfect.

we continued on to monster mash where, as always, there were plenty of sausages and cheeky waitresses. they gave me extra candy on my way out since it was my birthday. warm, comfortable, sausage, smiling dad.

we ended on a local pub i'd been wanting to go to in my neighborhood; the crowd of slightly gone to seed young men at the bar were upset that dad was with me. football was on the tv and drinks were drunk. it was cozy and only two blocks til home.

upon arrival at my cold, desolate, cavernous building, there were flowers. magic flowers at my door, flowers from out of nowhere with no name attached. all the card said was '*s*'. someone, clearly, is being tricky. irises, daffodils, snapdragon, daisies, tulips, and big branches of pussy willows. the whole thing's about three feet tall. it's glorious and will keep me happy for days after dad's gone.

in short, i've somehow ended up being twenty one. i am twenty one and there are people who love me.