5.17.06

things are fading in and out. they're happening too quickly for me to process them. i feel less of a person because of it. the summer will be spent regaining myself. reconstructing into something new, again.

all that remains is the editing of one final holt paper and i'll be done with bowdoin work. teetering on the edge.

i keep thinking about what it will be like driving home after graduation. i can't shake the feeling that though i'm many times removed from the person who entered college, it will seem as if my life has re-started after a strange four year interlude. a flipped switch. driving up the same highway to the same destination.

except: the day after that, i'll drive back down south and sign a lease. june first i'll move in; june fifth i'll start my job. somewhere in there i need to learn to drive stick.

i suspect i'll get to processing everything sometime around august. just in time for another season shift.

things have been happening. outings, interfacing, times isolated from normal life. connections over the articulation of yugen. the wbor management party at cleaveland street and its aftermath. blearily thinking the jeep was towed an hour after my parents had dropped it off. the unflagging insistence on crass immaturity by several parties. in overwhelming contact, a continuing transatlantic interaction.

i anticipate riding an ever-cresting wave of personhood and fulfillment of desire.