8.22.06

things are somewhat deadened right now. i'm tired nearly all the time because after work, i come home and stay up late, trying to find the rest of my life.

i spend hours cycling through the same thoughts, trying to find fulfillment somewhere in the mess. each go round holds a fresh possibility that i'll pull it off. haven't, yet. each day the feeling that i'll be floating in this empty space for the foreseeable future gets stronger. it instills a sense of powerlessness.

i brought a rubbermaid of old journals and pieces of childhood back from home this past weekend. the word "love" is written all over everything, in different handwritings, from different times. i've received some spectacular correspondence in my time.

i would like to continue the trend.